C is for Chocolates

Creating happiness depends on each individual.

Chocolate would be one source of happiness. For me.

Something in Chocolates give this happy feeling whenever I eat chocolates.

Campaign for World Chocolate Day... i.e. World Happiness Day.

Or is it World Get High on consuming Chocolate Day!

SK on Chocolate High

B is for... Babies

What's interesting about babies?

Their smell? Their laughter...?
The constant need and clinging on to you as the parent - mum or dad?

What is it about babies?

Why are babies an innate need for a woman to fulfill?
A living soul that you will have to take care until he/she is able to think and fend for themselves. It's a FULLTIME JOB people.

Me?
I had the interest way back when. I wanted 8 kids. Yes, EIGHT.

What I wasn't counting on when I was dreaming of 8 babies... were the cost of living, the constant care, day and night... and above all...

The responsibility.

After awhile, a dream is just a dream. I was given the excuse of not having babies... chronic illness. There was hope, no doubt. Many of the same chronic illness survivors (those with stable conditions during preggers) are with babies. Of course, they probably have had a lot to go thru. And it is double the tribulations.

Nah... I actually gave up. My condition never seem to stabilize with a softer dose of meds.. in fact, I flare up... so, no.

Babies... is a huge sacrifice. Call me selfish, I think I am not ready. I am never ready.

Don't get me wrong. I would still be all gooey seeing my friends' children; babies especially. I would be sad sometimes when I see the status updates on FB. Photos, videos.. mothers' day. It gets to me. Either I am emotionally upset or happy. Most of the time envious. Hey, at least I admit my feelings.

Then again, as much as I am selfish not to have babies or adopt any, I am actually (in my head) doing the babies a favour. Nothing good can come from my lifeline. So, let me stop the vicious cycle.

Let "anak Kambali" legacy stops with me. I think the world have had enough of dramas from my family... my husband's side? They care... but they understand. I guess they do. The immediate ones that is.

I am sure that there is a reason for everything... and I have faith in Him.

This is MY sacrifice. No babies from me.

SK on Babies.

A is for alone...

There comes a time when all you want to do is to be alone.

Why?

Maybe it's work stress?
Maybe it's relationship disappointment?
Maybe it's... something.

You just need to recharge... but yet, you are terrified.

Terrified of the emotions that will definitely invade your "happy" space.

When a person is alone, they are forced to deal with the issue(s)... things that may have been swept under the rug. The questions that makes a person sad, angry, heartache,disappointed...

To sum up... being alone MAY bring moments of hurt to resurface. All the pent up negative energy... and there is no way of hiding from it when you are alone.

Then again... being alone MAY also "recharge" you. Give you a clearer view... a step back after you have dealt with the issue(s).

Being alone has its good points. And bad too...

Do you trust yourself to be alone?
Are you comfortable alone?

But honestly... no one being on Earth is alone. There will always be your God... your faith. A guide.

He believes in you... why are you in doubt of yourself?

So.. be alone. Figure it out. Learn. Who knows... things will be much brighter.

SK on alone time.